Leftovers – Part 2

Thanks for all your comments on my last post. That’s one thing I love about the sober blogosphere – you ask one question … you get 40 answers.

I got rid of the wine. As many of you pointed out, the fact that I’d written an entire post about it was proof that it was bothering me in some way. Your responses made me think about the importance of boundaries and how they vary from person to person. What feels right to me might feel wrong to you. And if – like me – you cleared the house of alcohol before you stopped drinking then you’re bound to feel differently to someone who happily left half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

In a way, I felt annoyed that I was letting this one, pathetic bottle of wine play on my mind so much. I feel so happy and confident in my sobriety that I had no intention of drinking it. And yet … it was kind of troubling me. It didn’t feel right having it in the house. In the end I took it with me to a party and it got drunk pretty quickly.

I haven’t got much other news, but life feels really hectic at the moment, almost uncomfortably so. I’m working lots, drinking too much coffee and not getting enough sleep or exercise. I’ve been away the past couple of weekends. There’s very little food in the fridge, my flat is a tip and there are piles of stuff everywhere. I don’t feel on top of things. Written down it doesn’t sound like very much, but this kind of life-craziness led to me black out drinking in the past. That was my response to stress. When the going got tough, I pulled the shutters down and mentally checked out for a while.

When I first stopped drinking I wondered how I’d manage without that escape; that ability to completely leave your conscious self and the rest of the world for a while. One of the biggest surprises about sobriety is that I actually like having to be more present. A weekend spent tidying up, cooking and paying bills might not sound crazy and fun, but at least I’m getting things done. The reality of my drinking was hardly glitz and glamour; more often than not it involved waking up at 3am on the sofa, face down in a glass of wine. And when I think of the hours spent hungover, wasted in front of daytime TV … well, I wonder how I ever got anything done back then.

So that’s why I’m quite looking forward to a ‘boring’ weekend at home. Sure, there’ll still be a bit of escapism, but it’ll come in the form of catching up on The Great British Bake Off, going for a run and getting my nails done. And that’s fine by me.

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11 thoughts on “Leftovers – Part 2

  1. Cynthia September 26, 2014 at 3:21 pm Reply

    Good job 🙂 xoxo from California

  2. Hugh Byrne September 26, 2014 at 3:28 pm Reply

    mmmm, i think im going to join you, keep it up, thanks for sharing

  3. Annie September 26, 2014 at 5:50 pm Reply

    This is just what I needed to read as I crawl towards the weekend, 27 days into my sober thing and struggling. Thanks for your post, and for reminding me how good it is not to be drinking. Annie x

  4. DE September 26, 2014 at 6:16 pm Reply

    Well done for getting rid of the wine, you did the right thing for you.

  5. sherryd32148 September 26, 2014 at 6:44 pm Reply

    Isn’t it wonderful how beautiful ordinary is? Enjoy your weekend!


  6. RareHerb September 26, 2014 at 7:29 pm Reply

    Glad you realized it was bothering you enough to get rid of the bottle. Nothing wrong with a boring weekend. Keep up the great work. I just passed 10 years in August, life is good!!

  7. rivieradinah September 29, 2014 at 9:09 am Reply

    Hi Kate,

    I enjoyed this post because I think it’s really clear that we alcoholics always have to keep checking in on our thinking. The sober blogosphere is so great for that – as evidenced by the support you received here. Like others have said, it’s really comforting – especially for those of us who don’t really want to go (in my case back) to AA.

    Speaking of that, it was your blog, that I found through a google search, that led me here to this world! I’m turning 47 this month, and the last time I was sober (for 3 years) was when I was in my mid-20s. There was something about the AA approach that I ultimately found frustrating, especially after I had been sober for some time. It must be said that I owe every sober breath I’ve had before now to that group! And as I know how many many people that organization has helped, you will never hear me badmouth it. It’s just that I’m much more introverted now, I have 2 young kids and work full time, and I also live in France, where English-speaking meetings are extremely inconvenient for me. SO. I needed another way.

    I’m just taking this opportunity to thank you so much for writing, and sharing everything you’ve shared here, because you really helped someone more than you possibly could have imagined. (me.) 🙂 Just reading about how you approached sobriety, and your link to the 100 day sober challenge (thank you Belle) have really set me on my way. You even inspired me to start writing again. So you see…I’m very grateful to you.

    Have a fantastic day.

    • soberjournalist September 30, 2014 at 10:54 pm Reply

      Ahh it’s fantastic to hear how well you’re doing. It makes me feel very happy indeed! 🙂

  8. Nina October 2, 2014 at 4:16 pm Reply

    I want to thank you so much for being here. Finding your blog this summer has inspired me to stop drinking and was my introduction to the sobersphere. I started my own blog to journal the mental “BLAH BLAH BLAH, OY! THIS IS REALLY HARD!” I’m going through if you would like to stop by.


  9. Victoria October 3, 2014 at 12:55 pm Reply

    I loving this blog. I totally agree with you about the boring weekends. I am looking forward to one this weekend after a few weekends away. I finally managed to stock up on shopping and have treated myself to some new throws and pillows and intend to have a lazy weekend with the kids, watching films, catching up on housework. I am at 114 days tomorrow. 4 months next week. I am also attending AA, I was pretty regular in 2 meetings a week at the beginning but as a working single mum its hard and I probably attend 1 a fortnight now. Its been invaluable to me and I have the numbers of some of the members to have a coffee with or chat to if it gets difficult. Its funny a lot of friend of mine are doing Stopober for charity and are really struggling 3 days in!! The UK is so geared to heavy drinking, it suddenly becomes something heroic or weird if you decide to stop! Anyway thanks for the blog, resonate with so much of it and well done on 17 months. Thats fantastic x

  10. Lynn December 2, 2014 at 9:33 am Reply

    Amen sister. Bring on the ‘boring’ weekends.

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